…Without The Pain.

I want to be like Jesus but without the pain

            I’m unsure whether one could be Christian (or human in this case) without having an ounce of suffering. Suffering is woven tightly and consistently within every Biblical tale, within every tale. We all have uttered the cry “Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani?” at one point in our life.

            Yet, every single day I wake up trying to avoid the very thing that is consistent: my own brokenness and that of others. I create a reality in which I am not broken, but no broken sculpture can stand for long.

            I used to struggle a lot with my own brokenness. I always thought complete healing came the minute one became Christian. I mean the lame walk, the blind see, and the dead are raised. Yet, Miguel stays broken.

            There is a loneliness that follows brokenness.

            Sometimes I wonder which is worse.

            At times, I am convinced Christianity is just a union of actors and actresses set on looking happy.

             Yet, I find myself fooled consistently by the act, unable to understand why Christianity is so much harder for me.

            Amidst these times of confusion and unresolved emotions, I find myself drawn to the lyrics of many Switchfoot songs (“Yet” being the most visited). In the lyrics, boldly and unashamed stand the confessions of struggle and suffering.

            Christianity is not a wonderfully put together model waiting to walk the runway but a raggedy broken being that cannot even stand on its own.

            The lie that one can be like Jesus without pain will end one day. There is no shame in being broken. There is no benefit in pretending that we aren’t broken.

The lie kills the liar and benefits no one.

Being like Jesus is accepting pain and dealing with it.

Being like Jesus is suffering.

I tell myself that everyday.